Defeated by Sandwich Wilderness

Sat, July 27th '13
Paugus Sth Peak, Square ledge

Gordon Path Tr, Big Rock Cave Tr, Old Paugus Tr, Lawrance Tr, Paugus Pass Tr, Square Ledge Tr, Passaconaway Pass Tr, Square Ledge Tr, Old Mast Road Tr

Oh what an ambitious plan i had. Bushawack mt Mexico, Mt Paugus, go to Square Ledge, Bushwack mt Hibbard and top it off with Mt Wonalancet.
It started with some bumps along the road and i had that little thought that it was a sign i should not be doing it but i disregarded it and continued. I was not sure exactly where did the Gordon Path go. There were intersections with trails along the way an nothing was marked, and i was getting worried that i wasnt even into the hike yet and i was getting lost already. I just followed what my gut was telling me, in may places the trail almost disappeared and i went on what looked like continuation. My feet were wet after 10 min, there was a lot of water still standing on the ground, grass was covered with water and all the shrubs and trees were shedding water like crazy. I crossed several little bog bridges an told myself that if somebody put effort to put those there it must have been an active trail at some point. I knew i was suppose to come out to the clearing near the little white chapel and continue on the rout 113 for maybe 0.2 of a mile till i was gonna reach cabin trail trailhead.  What a surprise it was when suddenly i emerged into the intersection of a Big Rock Cave and Cabin trail!!! Not sure how i managed to do that but i was satisfied, i did not have to do the road walk!!!
From there i followed the Big Rock Cave trail. It was fairly gentle and i wasnt paying much attention to the surroundings. The ground was wet and i was focusing on not getting my feet even wetter. I turned my Map my run app to track my progress. I got to the Big Cave when i realized i passed Mt Mexico. Ah i was so mad at myself for not paying attention. I thought the summit was after the cave but i was mistaken. I also did not remember where was the trail suppose to be from that section. I was wandering around the cave for several minutes when i decided to get the guide out and find out. Yes, i had the White Mountains Guide book with me, for the first time ever. I had that feeling that i might need it today. Oh boy was i right. So after reading i found out the trail was suppose to be to the left of the cave, not behind or through the cave as i thought. The trail followed down from there and pretty soon i got to the intersection with Old Paugus Trail. I was a little unsure because there was suppose to also be Whitins brook Trail there as well but there was no sign for it. I decided what was gonna be Old Paugus and got ready for some tough hiking. Ive read several trip reports an some were not very inviting. The section between the Paugus and here was one tough cookie. I was covered in sweat and Misha was panting heavily. Thankfully there was plenty of water for her everywhere. One thing i dint have to worry about.
I think the worst part was the climb up the gully. The slide looking like trail was in bad condition. Big rocks piled one on another, eroded dirt and water on everything didnt help. I slid couple of times but kept my calm. Had to lift Misha here and there but nothing major.Of course i coul forget about dry feet. After that section i got to more open forest. It was all pines!! Sea of trees. Unfortunately there were  several blow downs to cross/go under, walk through thick brush and figuring out where did the trail go. I decided to take a break and have some food. Also studied the map more and read the guide. The book was in bad shape, i let Misha carry it and unfortunately water was slowly getting through her pack. After some extra energy from food i was ready to tackle the rest of that dreadful trail.
When we finally got to the first ledges i didnt even care for the views. I glimpsed once and kept moving. Not sure why but i didnt enjoy it any more. I just wanted to get to the south peak and see if i could bushwack to the main summit.
So the whole bushwack thing did not go good at all. I wasnt even sure if i was still going for South summit or main summit because i didnt see any extraordinary views that were suppose to be obtain somewhere in the area. I followed something that looked like a trail but it slowly started to disappear, found was soaked in places and my feet got wet once again. It started to get really thick and i had trouble going forward with Misha. I had to pull her through some of the piles of brush. I really had no idea which way to go. And honestly i should have not even attempt it in the first place. I decided to slowly retract my steps. I got to the clearing and studied the area. Tried different places and discovered a hidden trail to the main ledges. Yes that was where you get all the views!!!
We were both tired . I just wanted to get moving because i knew we were not even half done with the hike. On our way down i met first person this day. He reassured me where i was and wished me good luck. He gave me some odvice on what trails to take on my way down the square ledge. The trail from Paugus was really nice, quiet and cool. We got some rest with no incline to have. At the 4 way intersection i met three folks. They were heading to Hibbard and Wonalancet Mountains. I was on my way to the Square ledge. I was hoping to get back to those guys on my way down, it never happen as it turned out.  I was happily surprised that the trail was so easy to follow mainly going down. It started to get slightly steeper when i hit the first stream crossing. I was going fast, not stopping for anything, jumping over mud and hopping on rocks. Couple spots were very overgrown, there were some blow downs as well. Nearly at the second stream crossing i realized i forgot my camera at the first stream crossing. I was so pissed. I could not believe it. It was around 0.4 miles to go back to get it. I was very mad at myself. I ran as fast as i could. And of course the camera was sitting there, near the water. I was exhausted. Misha probably wondered why the heck we were going back and forth. It was around extra 0.8 miles we did. I got yet another sign that this hike was not meant to be.
Climb to the Square ledge was steep. Few high rock walls where i had to lift Misha. It was impressive to see the rock wall emerging. I think that was even better then the view we got from the ledge. I was happy we were there already and i wanted to get moving to the next section. It was getting close to three and i still had ways to go. GPS was saying i ve done close to 9 miles and i wanted to have it recorded before the phone ied so i rushed down. I rushed down so quickly that i did not pay attention to anything. I ran fast, jumping over rock and roots. I got the the little intersection near the stream crossing. Thats where i figured was suppose to be next intersection. The trail did not look like it was used at all so i decided i should follow the main trail thinking i was on a right track. I was going fast again. Finally o got to the big stream crossing. I crossed it fast and went on going. The trail started to flatten a lot. I slowly started going through the last part of the hike in my head. Its been a while since square ledge and i did not see any signs for Walden trail. It felt like i have done at least a mile and the fact that i crossed big stream and the trail fast almost flat was not adding up. I looked at the map and figured that i must have taken wrong trail. It looked like i was on Passaconaway Cutoff. I studied the map closer. I was tired, i was hiking for 6 hours an have done around 12 miles and still had two Mountains to go up to and i was on a wrong trail for around 1,5 what meant that i would have extra 3 miles on my back when i turn around. I started thinking maybe i should just go to the trailhead and ask somebody for the lift. Unfortunately it didnt look like an easy drive from Kankamangus Highway to Frencroft Rd and i was worried i might hard time to find help. I decided to turn around. A minute later i noticed two hiker coming my direction. They confirmed my suspicions. I was on the wrong trail for so long. That was really big disappointment. I felt defeated. The couple looked at me worried. They told me it was 3 o'clock already and it was late to go up. I reassured them i was fine and able to get to my car. For the first time it was me that was in trouble and somebody was worried about me!! I knew i had to go fast. I thanked them for all the info and moved on. I was almost out of water and had only little food left. I started doubting i could finish the hike the way i planned. The longer it took me to go up the harder for me it was to believe i could have gone that far in the wrong direction. Finally i got to the sign. I stopped and stared at it for a while. It was there and i have not noticed it before!!!I remember running pass that section focusing on getting my 9 mile mark on the gps. How careless i was!!! I took out the map and started studying my options. I had two choices: go for the Walden tr and from there decide if i was going to do the remaining mountains or retrace my steps over Square ledge and go down on Old Mast Road. I decided on the latter. I was very tired. Sweat rolling down my forehead. Misha was tired as well. I didnt have much water and food. I lost interest in everything and just wanted to get to the car. Vision of climbing the remaining mountains was not appealing to me any more. Going back Square ledge was easier, the Old Mast Road was suppose to be almost flat.
I didnt even stop to look at the views again. I was just focusing on my footing. Nothing else mattered. I met couple of guys near the Square ledge and then one more person below the ledge. From then on it was just me and Misha. We got to the car at 4:41. around 8 hrs of hiking and around 16 miles. I was really dirty and smelled. Misha jumped to the car right away getting ready to head home. I was defeated and tired. It was one of the worst hiking days i have had.